I am probably a part of the large population of women who can be extremely critical of themselves even when others aren’t. We stare in the mirror at our bodies and find reasons to hate certain imperfections, we avoid crowds of new people to ensure that we don’t come off as awkward, or we just forget to take time for ourselves. Whatever the case is, we as women need to find a way to truly take care of US (men, I’ll toss you in there too for some of these, lol). No one is going to care for us in the manner that we can care for us. No one else is responsible for our health and well-being. Take the reigns of your own life and give yourself a break from time to time, because you deserve it. Here are my five tips to making sure that you are taking care of you!
1. Acknowledge that you’re human and you’re not perfect.
No one is right all of the time. You’ll make mistakes in life and hopefully will learn from them. As we grow and become more mature, those mistakes will hopefully become less frequent, but we’ll still do things that we’ll look back at and say “Why didn’t I do it this way?” That’s a part of growth and learning.
2. No one is happy all of the time!
That’s why there are other emotions out there (sad, angry, frightened, etc.). Allow yourself to feel those emotions and work through it. The worst thing to do is to fake the funk and try to force yourself to feel something that isn’t there. You’re allowed to be angry, sad, frightened, anxious, whatever. The key is to not stay there. Don’t become consumed with those feelings. Allow yourself a timeframe to feel whatever it is that you’re feeling (a day, two days max) and then figure out how to get past it. I’ve found that acknowledging those feelings, giving myself a day to really feel those feelings, and then letting go has become my best coping mechanism to dealing with stress.
3. Learn your triggers as well as your stress relievers.
We all have them, we all know them, we just choose to ignore them. If you know that a cluttered house causes you stress, make it a point to create a system that allows you to be more organized. If driving to new places causes anxiety (guilty), become familiar with the route ahead of your travel time or invest in a great GPS system. The little things can create the biggest solutions for us.
4. Invest in yourself.
Whether it’s your health (which should always take priority), hobbies, whatever. Invest time in doing what not only makes you happy, but also what will help you become the best version of yourself. I was guilty for a long time of taking care of everyone else and ignoring myself. I changed that by creating this very blog, which takes work but brings me so much joy. Finding something that is solely meant for you and stick with it.
5. Do not allow others to define you!
This is the biggest piece of advice that I can give you. For a long time, I allowed other’s perception of me define who I was and how I saw myself. However, once I realized that no one defines me but me, my outlook on life changed drastically. I took ownership of who I was and who I wanted to be. I also didn’t apologize for being me. If people judge you by things that you did in the past, even when you’ve shown that you have changed and have grown, the issue isn’t you, it’s them. I don’t apologize for things that I’ve done in my 20s because I’ve learned from them.
Whether you follow this advice or you have your own definition of being kind to yourself, the important part is to acknowledge that you are deserving of peace and happiness in this life.